No...not me. I'm already cauterized clean as a whistle. One might say that my filtration software has been properly installed and that my connectivity has been disabled. But my Bloggish host Bray is too busy and conflicted to blog right now so he asked me to reprise an old post of his. As he is feeling a lot of guilt about blogging post-Asifa it is a blogging Vidui even though two full months must pass before Elul.
As a loyal contemporary follower of Amramowitz the Younger, The Bray displays characteristically hiding-in-plain-sight cognitive dissonance and denial. For an absolutely breathtaking example of Amramowitz the Youngerish hypocrisy please take special note of the confession that begins with "R":
There are a whole lot of sins that are unique to J-Bloggers בכלל and to humble me בפרט. As traditionally our viduyim = confessionals run the gamut from Aleph to Taf and as the prime instrument of Bloggish sins is the QWERTY keyboard I submit to you a work in progress , a Viduy for J-Bloggers, a QWERTY confessional.
In order to capture the proper Artscrollish ambiance appropriate for Fundie Brayers I will italicize the entire Vidui:
For the sin that I have sinned before you by ....
Q' seder spelling things with Qs that are conventionally spelled with Ks, just to look arch and to annoy the readers
W hining publicly about lack of traffic, comments and attention when you have bestowed far more meaningful gifts upon me that I ought to be grateful for
E rring about facts, figures, dates and names and not bothering to do the research to correct them
R egurgitating old posts that weren't even very good the first time around
T yping without thinking and in violation of all laws and conventions of grammar and spelling even to the point of overriding the green and red-lined mussar that my word-processor so kindly provides.
Y akking interminably in the comment threads when its a monologue and not a dialogue
U nderachieving in real life and overcompensating by blogging obsessively
I ntroducing unsuspecting neophytes to the roiling cesspool that is the rough-and-ready J-Blogosphere
O ozing exaggerated gratitude for the merest intimation of a compliment and thus manifesting a borderline psychotic insecurity hungering for כבוד המדומה = illusory honor and prestige O bfuscating to hide my ignorance when I ought to just say “I don’t know”
P osturing and pretending to hold positions and opinions that, in truth, do not reflect my own
A ttacking people instead of their arguments and/or positions
S plitting hairs and parsing words and phrases in order not to be pinned down to a position that has been disproven
D amning with faint praise
F isking those targets that are not likely to read or respond
G oogle-ing and posting images with little regard to copyrights
H urling insults and pejoratives when I’ve exhausted my supply of arguments
J esting unfunnily with a tin ear for comedy
K nocking things before I’ve tried them
L ollygagging and not researching unfamiliar topics thoroughly. L ollygagging and ignoring my many other real-life obligations in order to blog in an OCD way
Z ealously defending my right to apathy
X punging comments that ought best never have been thought of, much less posted in the first place. But it was too late, the damage was already done. Including but not limited to those comments transgressing the very real and grave sin of Khilul HaShem
C hameleonymously blogging instead of attaching my name proudly and courageously to my own opinions
Q' seder spelling things with Qs that are conventionally spelled with Ks, just to look arch and to annoy the readers
W hining publicly about lack of traffic, comments and attention when you have bestowed far more meaningful gifts upon me that I ought to be grateful for
E rring about facts, figures, dates and names and not bothering to do the research to correct them
R egurgitating old posts that weren't even very good the first time around
T yping without thinking and in violation of all laws and conventions of grammar and spelling even to the point of overriding the green and red-lined mussar that my word-processor so kindly provides.
Y akking interminably in the comment threads when its a monologue and not a dialogue
U nderachieving in real life and overcompensating by blogging obsessively
I ntroducing unsuspecting neophytes to the roiling cesspool that is the rough-and-ready J-Blogosphere
O ozing exaggerated gratitude for the merest intimation of a compliment and thus manifesting a borderline psychotic insecurity hungering for כבוד המדומה = illusory honor and prestige O bfuscating to hide my ignorance when I ought to just say “I don’t know”
P osturing and pretending to hold positions and opinions that, in truth, do not reflect my own
A ttacking people instead of their arguments and/or positions
S plitting hairs and parsing words and phrases in order not to be pinned down to a position that has been disproven
D amning with faint praise
F isking those targets that are not likely to read or respond
G oogle-ing and posting images with little regard to copyrights
H urling insults and pejoratives when I’ve exhausted my supply of arguments
J esting unfunnily with a tin ear for comedy
K nocking things before I’ve tried them
L ollygagging and not researching unfamiliar topics thoroughly. L ollygagging and ignoring my many other real-life obligations in order to blog in an OCD way
Z ealously defending my right to apathy
X punging comments that ought best never have been thought of, much less posted in the first place. But it was too late, the damage was already done. Including but not limited to those comments transgressing the very real and grave sin of Khilul HaShem
C hameleonymously blogging instead of attaching my name proudly and courageously to my own opinions
V enom spewing in ways that confirm every spurious Kharedi-bashing canard
B ashing the slightest whiff of criticism when I should stop, contemplate, and listen and, in the best case scenarios, be built by the constructive criticism. Bringing infamy instead of glory to Havdala consciousness
N ot sticking to SWE when posting and commenting
M ollifying my critics by compromising my principles…in other words selling-out
I have examined all the keys of my board from “M” to “Q” and found them wanting. There is nothing cogent or compelling in them.Of course…Much of this is projection and sins I find bloggers other than myselfguilty of . Kind of like the actual vidui that we do on Yom Kippur. This list is also afflicted with the fundamental structural problem of lip-service confessionals and “ritualarium submersion while still grasping the contaminating rodent carcass” as I have little intention of modifying even those Bloggish behaviors I KNOW myself to be guilty of.
In the final analysis this “new confessional” is akin to a streetwalker authoring a new A to Z vidui where she owns to among other things, drug abuse, dishonesty, the destruction of homes and the dissemination of STDs. (And those were just the "Ds"!) The Teshuva for such a sinner is not to correct this or that detail of her lifestyle but to leave the bawdy-house and look for another line of work.
Anybody know some kosher hobbies?
Have you had YOUR Qedusha-Havdala today??? Hmmm???
B ashing the slightest whiff of criticism when I should stop, contemplate, and listen and, in the best case scenarios, be built by the constructive criticism. Bringing infamy instead of glory to Havdala consciousness
N ot sticking to SWE when posting and commenting
M ollifying my critics by compromising my principles…in other words selling-out
I have examined all the keys of my board from “M” to “Q” and found them wanting. There is nothing cogent or compelling in them.Of course…Much of this is projection and sins I find bloggers other than myselfguilty of . Kind of like the actual vidui that we do on Yom Kippur. This list is also afflicted with the fundamental structural problem of lip-service confessionals and “ritualarium submersion while still grasping the contaminating rodent carcass” as I have little intention of modifying even those Bloggish behaviors I KNOW myself to be guilty of.
In the final analysis this “new confessional” is akin to a streetwalker authoring a new A to Z vidui where she owns to among other things, drug abuse, dishonesty, the destruction of homes and the dissemination of STDs. (And those were just the "Ds"!) The Teshuva for such a sinner is not to correct this or that detail of her lifestyle but to leave the bawdy-house and look for another line of work.
Anybody know some kosher hobbies?
Have you had YOUR Qedusha-Havdala today??? Hmmm???
4 comments:
Thanks Korakh
Some things, like wine, are better the second time around.
Eat, drink and be merry today, Korach, for tomorrow you die.
BoF - that was THREE years ago!!
I guess it was a real vidui then; the kind that hits us hard in the heat of the moment and then we suppress the memory of it on the way out of shul after ma'ariv motzaei YK to be never felt again.
I'm feeling it strong as the post-Asifa witch-hunt snowballs daily
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